“Anger can be grief unexpressed.”
I read that somewhere recently and thought, “Wow, I never really thought about it that way.”
I knew that anger is often linked to fear, but didn’t intuitively link it to grief. Most of us know that anger is a stage of grieving before you reach acceptance, but what if you or a friend or family member simply gets stuck there. Is there an appropriate time limit to mourning?
The answer is no.
Those of us who deal with the chronic pain of Burning Mouth Syndrome may go through successive cycles of grief. We grieve that we hurt and don’t know why. Then we grieve the myriad ways our lives have been changed or our activities hampered by pain. Then we grieve that we cannot talk about our pain because it has gone on so long that we feel we are burdening others when we speak of it. That’s a lot of grief, my friends, and I know you have experienced many different and sometimes difficult reactions from your family and friends over the years.
I recently saw a lovely video about helping your grieving loved ones and knew I had to share it with you. Continue reading
I realized I haven’t posted since the holidays, and I could easily blame that on everything that has gone on…the wedding in November of our younger daughter went beautifully and just this month they surprised us with the house they are purchasing, our older daughter’s wedding approaches (so quickly!) in May and they have begun to build a house not too far away from us, and of course the day-to-day work of a being a busy philanthropist and volunteer!
Many of us go through what I think of as the “thrashing stage” when we first start experiencing the pain of Burning Mouth Syndrome (BMS). It is a time of anger, sorrow, guilt, and confusion as we try to determine what is going on, why it happened, and what we can do about it. You may have thought, “If only I hadn’t done this, or if only that hadn’t happened…I would not be in pain.” It isn’t logical, but often, neither are we at this stage of our journey. 
Yesterday as I grabbed my morning coffee at the neighborhood shop, I spotted an acquaintance. I had seen her around the gym where she is always intense and focused but had only spoken with her once or twice over the years. I said hello and reminded her who I was (You know when you get that feeling that they know they know you but might not remember your name or the context?) and we stood together waiting for our orders.
A Burning Journey 